strong women: do you need a knight or a king?

This Psychology Today article that gives a rundown of the type of relationship strong, career-orientated women want now hits  nails on heads for me.

article-1269277-0906216A000005DC-810_468x302It makes a number of strident and true points. I’ve added my own thoughts to the mix too:

* “There is a new type of male/female relationship forming in our culture not defined by who is more dominant and successful.” Indeed, there is a new whiff to things right now. I don’t know that anyone really “knows” how all this plays out yet, but we “feel” that the old “push/pull” of sexual relationships is redundant somehow. Every relationship needs a balance of yin and yang, but it can play out in so many different ways. Masculine strength can be about being a rock or being the “provider” of emotional stability to a frantically busy career woman. Sometimes all we want is a guy who can say “everything’s going to be OK” at the end of the day while massaging your foot.

* Strong women want a man who will share the responsibilities at home and won’t get his ego tied up in a knot over it.

* Money was not the major criteria for partner-picking among the women surveyed in the story. Emotional compatibility rated higher. They didn’t need a King; they preferred having a Knight!!

* “Strong women want a man who gives his partner space to go after the success she desires. When she comes home, he is her cheerleader and “knight” who loves her and doesn’t tell her he wants her to quit traveling or change her workload for him.” Nice.

* “He stands by the side of his partner, not in front of her or behind her.” I love this…my thinking is that the ideal relationship exists when you’re travelling in the same direction, on roughly parallel paths (NOT on the same path), and every now and then you can look across at your partner and go, “how about the view” or “this pace suiting you?”.

* Finally the article goes:

“I’m not talking about role reversals, though that exists. I’m not talking about women supporting men, though that exists as well. I’m talking about men who are comfortable allowing women to be whole, which includes being powerful, emotional, passionate, discouraged, loving, tired, perfect, imperfect, grateful and sometimes rude.”

Oh, yeah, sometimes rude!! We are, aren’t we?! And with this, I issue my apologies to all men who’ve experienced the brunt of one of my stressed strops. Full props to you…you handle it so well. And when you do, you’re a goddamn knight!

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