The most essentialist observation about what women need in love I’ve ever made

What do women want? Blokes, there’s only one thing you need to know.

When we rant (seemingly) irrationally, when we do something that makes you say, “I damned if I do, I’m damned if I don’t”, or when we arch our eyebrow when your response to a confrontation is, “You’re just being complicated” …we are actually being blindingly simple.

I gave a friend some advice on the weekend. His wife had just texted a message that he found cryptic and therefore anger-inducing. He asked me to decipher.

 “Forget trying to understand the exact logic from those words,” I said. “She’s jumped the conversation ahead 15 steps already. 

“All you need to know is that she is feeling you don’t give enough of a shit.”

I’ve gone around in circles on this point with a ridiculous number of friends – both male and female – over the past few months. I’ve gone around in figure eights myself. And I’ve simmered everything down to this potent, highly reductive point:

Women need men to give a shit.

Mostly about the relationship. And to show as such. 

All else is secondary. All else is fixable from there.

I read an article a while back by Matthew Fray who pointed out that men have put humans on the moon, run 3-minute miles, fought wars. Surely, just putting the dishes in the dishwasher, and not leaving them on the sink, is not too much of a stretch. Surely, acknowledging a woman is simply asking you to demonstrably lift your game is not too hard?

I think this is even more critical the older we get. We don’t have time to waste. It’s like show up, fire up, give a shit…or go home. Let’s do this crazy thing…or not at all. 

I think women, post-40, often really want this one simple thing. As I say, I’ve gone to the essentialising edge with this one. But then gender discussions will do that.
Your thoughts?

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