laugh and kiss him back

Sometimes you have to hand things over to the bigger picture. You have to do this when you just don’t know anymore.

photo by Toby Burrows
photo by Toby Burrows

I have an “issue” just now. I won’t detail, as it’s…too detailed. There are a clusterf*ck of ideas, options, angles, directions attached to solving this issue and I’m stuck in it all. This happens to me a lot. I scan all options weighing them all up, and the net result, in the wash, after everything has been considered is…nothing. Imagine you have 234729375 strings attached to your person, each being pulled outward at even tension. The result? You don’t move. Ergo, nothing.

When this happens, I stop thinking. I can’t logically process….anything.

I just don’t know anymore.


I descend into this numb-but-frantic space where – and this is the worst bit – I attract even worse clusterf*ckness and nothingness. Everything in my life ceases to work. How about a small insight into what I mean: to get ahead on 1/23948737th of my “issue”, I need the approval of a particular person. It’s taken weeks to work out that this person is the one who needs to sign off on this bit of my issue. I finally find them. Contact them. And, lo, they’ve just last week had a heart attack and, tragically, are currently in a coma in hospital. It’s no laughing matter, but it’s definitely absurd. This is one example of many instances where my stuckness has beget stuckness.

There are reasons for the stuckness. When we make too many decisions (and every angle, direction considered is a

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