today I’m wearing a dirty white T-shirt

Today I woke with a plan to wear my white long-sleeved T-shirt. I’ve worn it twice already in the past fortnight and it has a little bit of makeup on the inside neckline and a little bit of a lived-in smell to it. Today I’ll be riding on my bike between meetings. A slightly uncrisp white T-shirt is appropriate.


But there’s this: my white T-shirt is one wear off a wash. And I have a load of whites in the machine, waiting to be justified as a Full Load. Waiting for another white-in-need-of-a-wash. And so, wearing this white T-shirt today and washing it tonight (with a dash of bleach) will bring me a disproportional sense of satisfaction. Completion. It’s the Capricorn in me.

As I got dressed this morning (pulling on a short summery skirt because I like to “wear up” all my summery gear before I move into my cooler weather wardrobe), I wondered: Do other people have Little Life Processes like this? Little things that bring completion? Little thoughts and structures that fill their brains between more important thoughts? If so, what are they?

For it is in these Little Life Process Moments that I think so much about a person can be really seen.

These nerdy, particular, slightly odd-ball moments are so intimate. I fall in love with a person when I see them engage in theirs. It’s a moment of care. It’s a moment of uncensored them-ness. It’s a moment that exposes their needs, their vulnerability.

I know my need for completion and for “using things up” says oodles about my need to feel safe, to feel that I’m a

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