This is a topic that’s come up a lot among my mates and I lately – the challenges of navigating tricky friendships. Not between us, but beyond.
Over various martinis and meals, I’ve shared my thinking on the subject and thought I might share with you guys, too.
I think many people find navigating friendships as their life stages shift really difficult. Among my friends (most are in their late 30s and early 40s), different and competing commitments (some of us are single, some married with kids; all of us are busy) trigger disappointment and miscommunications. It can be challenging territory to navigate.
I used to cover stories on this topic when I edited Cosmopolitan magazine years back. To be honest, I never quite got the big deal with friend dilemmas. I think it’s because I’ve never had a “crew” of friends. I have a very select number of close one-on-ones and a broad network of acquaintances. Plus, I’m an independent loner. I don’t rely on friends to go about my life – I don’t travel with friends, live with them or date their exes. It’s just not how I do friendship. Of course, I treasure my friends’ counsel and company, but if there’s an issue between us it doesn’t impact me on a practical level, if you get what I mean.
It’s possibly from this perspective I proffer this as a way of dealing with trickiness when it arises: “the friend fade-out”.
I’ve not really had friend fall-outs or massive bust-ups off the back of a misunderstanding or whatever. I’ve done fade-outs.
A fade out is when a bad smell emerges between you and a mate. You might confront them and address the issue in some way. You give it one