My post last week touched on being an introvert. It brought a lot of my introverted friends out from their inner reverie to share a few thoughts they’d developed on their internal brainstorming-for-one white board.
The common thread of our chats: the challenges we face dealing with (read: living with) extroverted friends and loved ones. In these extrovert-happy times where group exercises and brainstorms and Fun! Parties! Are What We Do, introverts can feel deficient. Thus, as Susan Cain explains in her TED talk, introverts wind up apologising for themselves a lot.
For this is the thing: introverts constantly feel like they’re letting people down.
This pains me. And confounds me. But I have a few thoughts on the matter that have helped me find a little peace.
To be clear an introvert isn’t someone who’s shy and plays Dungeons and Dragons in a dark room. The official definition of an introvert is someone who turns inward. An introvert can stand on stage and be as erudite and bold and entertaining as an extrovert. It’s just that they’ll go back to their hotel room straight after, skipping the post-event drinks.
Indeed, Lady Gaga, Christina Aguilera and Emma Watson are classified as introverts. And Forty percent of CEOs are introverts.
This is the other thing, which often doesn’t come up in a world where extraverts design the party, send out the invite and keep the drinks flowing: introverts can find extroverts hard work.
I’d go as far as saying that I can sometimes find extroverts – not show-offs and bombastic arm-wavers necessarily, but those who draw their energy from other humans – to be energy vampires. These people are positive, kind,