It’s a bit of a recurring rant of mine. In these modern times we are flooded with opportunities, commitments, options and invites. Where success was defined by how many contacts you could make, and how much information you could collate, today it’s defined by how much of all this “input” you can shut out. Right?
It’s an art. And one we have to perfect. Because no one else is going to protect you from the influx or from the 24/7 imperative.
We get caught up in the trap, however, of thinking we have to respond and take part in everything. Which, down the track, leads to another phenomenon that I’ve also banged on about before:
We’ve all become big fat flakes with each other.
Particularly with our mates.
We make plans and cancel them habitually (I read somewhere that cancelling a plan has the same immediate effect as heroin). We sit on the fence. We give half-answers to invites.
We need to stop this. It’s horrible. It’s making us all feel wobbly and uncertain.
Thusly, my preferred ways to ensure I make an appropriate amount of worthwhile plans, with the right people, that I commit to:
* I only make two plans on weekends. The rest of the time I leave myself open to spontaneity. I’m not great with spontaneity. Uncertainty makes me anxious. But so does overcommitment. I have a crew of mates where we alert each other to “when we’ll be around” and it means we can reach out for a quick tea or walk or Sunday night dinner if we have the energy. A low-fi commitment, but one that’s firm and certain.