Sunday Life: a *really* effective way to get rest (and heal)

This week I try Intentional Resting

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There’s always been something about me that inspires a reflexive need in others – even complete strangers in Medicare queues – to tell me to relax. When you’re not a relaxed person, being told to “Hey, just relax” is like being a leopard and ordered to not have spots. And prompts a largely unrelaxed response. “I DON’T DO RELAXED!” I once yelled at a smug ‘lax pusher. “EXCITED, MOTIVATED, FOCUSED, YES! BUT RELAXED JUST ISN’T PART OF MY EMOTIONAL REPERTOIRE…OK!?”. (Apologies for the loud caps, BTW). I only just restrained myself from pointing out that their suggestion was akin to my telling them to “Hey, fire up and get interesting”.

But slowly, over the years, I’ve released the pressure valve. I was forced to after an adrenal collapse four years ago (although it took a while to get the full gist of the idea; my initial attempts involved climbing Machu Picchu and moving to New York).  In the past few months I’ve turned the decompression dial down even further. I’ve been learning to rest. Rest is a bit like relaxed, but even better.

We all need to learn to rest. We’re certainly all tired. Arianna Huffington argues tiredness is an epidemic and was responsible for the GFC. But sleep alone isn’t enough for maintaining even basic health argues Dr Matthew Edlund, author of The Power of Rest. We’ll get eight hours and still feel like we’re dragging our sorry bums through quicksand. We need to rest as a state of being. Because for most of us our default state of being is frenetic, toggling, never-ceasing activity. We force our way through roadblocks, control outcomes and resist the natural flow of things. So much resistance and… egghhness… is tiring to the core.

When things don’t work out, we force harder. I read that when things don’t work out for animals they curl up and rest. And perhaps try again in a bit.  Funnily, I read this just before heading off last week for a few days break in the Byron hinterland. It rained. And rained. I couldn’t surf. Or bushwalk. So I curled up and rested. Reading in a hammock is resting. A rare afternoon nap is resting. But since I had the time – and was completely, right-down-to-the-calluses-on-my-big-toe  buggered from the year that was – I sunk into the topic deeper to find the best way to really rest.

Which is how I came upon Intentional Resting, a technique developed by Dan Howard after years of trying to find a simple tool “even truck drivers can use”.

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the most useful grammar post ever

I thought you might find this useful. A list of grammar tricks I found on Dumb Little Men…They’ve compiled a bunch of tips and exercises from an online writing lab.

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I know so many from my generation simply didn’t learn grammar. I personally learned it when I studied French from a library text book while working in a pub in London when I was 18. Then, a few years later I did a journalism cadetship at the Herald Sun in Melbourne. I got obsessed by misplaced modifiers. Mostly I’ve just practiced and checked and got things wrong and been horrified when I’ve seen it in print and learned the hard way.

I’ve also developed pet hates. Like misplaced modifiers. And your’s. Or when your not concentrating and you are found out.

What get’s on you’re goat?
Adjectives and adverbs

Nouns

Prepositions

Tuesday eats: what I’m eating for breakfast right now

Someone asked me the other day to do a post on what I eat. In general. So I’ll start with breakfast.

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I get up. I drink about 1-2 litres of hot water with either a squeeze of lemon or a dash of apple cider vinegar. Then I exercise etc. Then I eat. I’m simply not hungry for about 1-2 hours after I rise. Then it’s ON!

I mix it up a bit (porridge with sheep’s milk yoghurt and activated nuts; poached eggs and spinach, a few slices of millet bread with turmeric and cashew butter-$2- from Suveran as I ride to my office) But I’ve been filming a lot lately and it’s summer and my stomach as been a bit crook… and the below kind of caters to all of it. It’s portable, cooling, and allows me to whack in a few gut supplements.

Every morning I make sure I get a good dose of protein and FAT! If I don’t, I go searching for sugary carbs by about 10am.

my good-for-your guts breakfast smoothie

You’ll need:

* A stab mixer (don’t bother with blenders – too much equipment that you have to wash)

* handful of frozen berries or 1/2 a frozen banana (I buy when on special, peel and store in a zip-lock bag, then break into chunks to blend).

* 1/2 cup-ish yoghurt or kefir (I make my own or buy Meredith sheep’s milk yoghurt…less lactose and a great consistency; but I ALWAYS use full-fat. Why? Read here).

* 1/2 cup-ish  coconut water (fresh from the nut is best with the flesh tossed in, too,  or I like the Beyond one or the one that comes in a 500ml Tetrapak. Coconut water and flesh is extremely nutritious and an amazing electrolyte).

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office space for rent

I don’t normally use my site to advertise things… so apologies in advance if you find this annoying. I’ll be quick… Perhaps you know a creative type who might like to share a great office/studio space in Darlinghurst (in Sydney). I work from here. Along with a well-known blogger, and five other web/writing creatives. And … Read more

why you should quit alcohol with me in february

Note: this page has been updated to include the password…“Wellness” I’m giving up booze during February. 28 Days. Bang. Done. I’m the patron for FebFast, a charity that raises money for drug and alcohol resource centres around Australia. Important! My job is to get people to abstain from drinking for the shortest month of the … Read more

sunday life: in which i learn how to fix a relationship breakdown

This week I play relationship games

I’ve just found a word to describe one of the most spleen-tearing, devastatingly destructive relationship scenarios a soul can ever face.  If you’re old enough to read this, you’ve no doubt been there. You’ve stood opposite someone you love, mired in a fight (about wet towels on the floor?) that’s lasted all night.

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It’s Sunday afternoon and you haven’t slept or left the house and you’ve forgotten what you’re fighting about. Both of you so desperately want the other to give in, but neither can move, paralysed by a need to see a sign of love from the other. If you compromise first you feel you lose. If you don’t, you sink deeper into the stalemate.

You’re in anguish, screaming through tears. You’re due at the neighbours for dinner. But there you are, staring at each other across the boggy, battle-scared Flanders Fields of your disconnect. And you couldn’t be further from peace.

Oh, I’ve been there. And I hope I’m never drafted to another war like it again.

Anyway, the word, from the Yaghan language is mamihlapinatapai, which translates as, “looking at each other hoping the other will offer to do something that both parties desire to have done but are unwilling to do themselves”. Ha! Perfect! The Guinness Book of Records lists it as the most succinct word in any language, and it’s regarded as one of the hardest to translate. Go figure.

I learned this week that this particular relationship scenario is of some interest to game theorists, mathematicians dedicated to solving sticky human quandaries with tactics used in everyday games like cards and chess. Game theory seems to have had a spike in popularity lately, possibly due to it being 60 years since John Nash, as immortalized in the film A Beautiful Mind, devised his Noble Prize-winning theory the Nash Equilibrium (a point in a relationship from which neither party can escape independently without landing in a worse situation). And so it was that I shared a peppermint tea with Australian-born game theory writer Len Fisher, author of Rock, Paper, Scissors, who explained to me strategies for negotiating through the grimmest of relationship stalemates. So I’m never drafted again.

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find your spot

I see Ben around a bit. He lives down the road. He’s  a great-grandfather and he’s lived in Bondi most of his life. Ben makes me smile because he has a thing he does. Mid-mornings. after he’s taken his great-granddaughter to school, he comes out to the road and sits in his little car and … Read more

More 7PM Project…fun!

And here, the links to the hosting segments I did just before Christmas… That dress is by Mimosa…Aussie label! Love Myf!!! We both got teary in the 2010 wrap-up in the second link below. It really was a big year…closing with the floods. Funnily Tom and I were on the same plane to Canberra in … Read more