I need to share this story. So. Three people over the past three months – one of my best mates Rosie, my new friend Kazzie, and Maria from Brainpickings – alerted me to scientist and “shame” expert Brene Brown.
So. I read her book The Gifts of Imperfection. And saw her on TED.com (see below). Was stupendously inspired. And then contacted her to see if we could do a Skype interview down the track for my Sunday Life column…about shame and some other wonderfully rich ideas she has studied on wholeheartedness.
And whattayaknow…!? She’s in Australia, in Sydney THE EXACT SAME WEEK that I’m going to be back in Sydney. I love it. It’s perfect. It just is.
I know I come across as open. Few defenses. Willing to discuss my bowel habits and my sadness with tens of thousands of strangers. But I’ve had to realise lately that this brazen openness is actually a defense. A boring one. For me, anyway.
by Sarah Hermans
Do you tend to point out your faults loudly when you’re nervous? Because you figure it’s better to get in first, before someone points them out for you? Yeah. Me too. Openess can be like that. It works like this: Before you challenge me on my boundaries, before you hold a mirror up to my intimacy issues, how about I barrage you with my brazeness, then you won’t have a leg to stand on!
Well, this approach has kind of got stale lately. It’s not serving me too well. When I do it now I cringe.
As it happens I read on DailyOm last week a little metaphor about trees shedding their bark. It’s fitting:
Trees grow wider with each passing year. As they do, they shed the bark that served to protect them but now is no longer big enough to contain them. In the same way, we create boundaries and develop defenses to protect ourselves and then, at a certain point, we outgrow them. If we don’t allow ourselves to shed our protective layer, we can’t expand to our full potential.
This is a quick post, just to alert you to a resource for buying fish because I think many of us feel in the dark as to which are best to buy and why.
via pinterest.com
The Australian Marine Conservation Society (AMCS) have developed the first online sustainability guide for seafood consumers in Australia. It was developed in response to growing public concern about overfishing and its impact on our oceans and their wildlife, and is designed to help you make informed seafood choices and play a part in swelling the tide for sustainable seafood in Australia.
The guide lists fish according to ‘better’ option, ‘think twice’, or ‘no’- which basically means don’t eat it if you have a conscience.
According to the sustainability guide, some of the well-known ‘better’ options include
I think I mentioned, I chaired the Happiness & It’s Causes Conference in Brisbane on Friday. I know a few of you were there. It really was very special…Big minds, big hearts, grappling with all the stuff that counts. Lots of stuff on using our minds for good, chimps and peace (ergo the cute-as pic below).
There were a few highlights…things that got me thinking.
On creativity…
Matthieu Ricard (the man known as The Happiest Man in The World) sat with me in the Green Room, leant over and said, “I find this idea of ‘creativity’ weird”. How so? “There’s no Tibetan word for creativity…it’s a peculiar Western obsession.” He didn’t say too much more on this. Basically, he was saying that it’s odd that we separate creativity from the act of giving. I guess it is funny that we have this need to…to think we must delineate our creations, rather than just offer them.
If you’re not born of a racial minority, are comfortably middle-class and you catch taxis then you might identify with this scenario. On Monday I climbed into a Melbourne taxi. “Airport please.” The Sudanese driver was playing Middle Eastern music and spoke basic English. He grunted in reply.
Now, you might class me a small-L liberal (latte-sipping, bike-lane hogging, broadsheet-toting) multiculturalist. Which means I probably wouldn’t admit to having a particular “take” on this gentleman. Or his culture. Of course not.
Which is why at the lights when he unwinds his window and yells excitedly in Arabic with his African mate in the next taxi I’m only mildly put out. I ask him what they were discussing. “Football!” he says with a massive grin. “I’m Western Bulldogs, my little sons Western Bulldogs fans. He’s Hawthorn.” He punches the air and cackles happily.
Immediately my heart swelled. And I was flooded with all kinds of sappy jingoism – isn’t Australia incredible! He can barely speak English, but he’s adopted one of our passions. How wonderful! A reaction that served to blatantly expose the – ughhh! – prejudiced, threatened “take” I’d had when I first jumped in his taxi.
Bikes are rad. Here are some more rad bike things…
via pinterest.com
I recently found this Brooklyn wedding on ‘A Cup of Jo’. The happy couple didn’t have a huge budget – so they got married in a park and then rode bikes to a bar for their reception (Pam wore cute denim shorts under her wedding dress so that she could hitch up her dress and ride).
I’m in “Dalai Lama” land right now. Yesterday I interviewed him and we had a giggle. Tomorrow I’m chairing the Happiness & It’s Causes conference where he’s the guest speaker. In this shot (with the crew) he’s squeezing my hand over and over. And kept winking. Then, a few hours later, in the hotel lobby … Read more
OK. Everyone loved the list of toxin-free cosmetics I posted recently. Since then, I’ve come across more experts with tried and tested suggestions and some of you guys have shared, too. So, a listicle Part ll. And just a shower thought I had: I really want to emphasise that making the switch to safer and cleaner shouldn’t be about getting draconian and consumerist. That is, getting pious and buying more stuff. It’s about making a slow, gradual, informed switch as products run out. That’s just my thoughts…now enjoy these generous suggestions from others…
As you read this I’m en route to Brisbane to present at the Happiness & It’s Causes conference…and to interview His Holiness The Dalai Lama for Channel Seven. As fate would have it, I’m chairing the presentation and panel discussion at the conference on Friday that sugar expert David Gillespie is doing – Eating Your Way to Health and Happiness. Any of you coming?
photo via pinterest.com
If you’re not going to be there… you might enjoy this. David shares why fructose makes us unhappy. I can personally vouch for the connection. I’ve been so very very much more stable since I quit sugar. Every now and then I’ve “tested” things by eating a bit of chocolate or having some honey in my chai. The effect is IMMEDIATE. I’m buzzy-grumpy. And I get ulcers. And I bloat. And it takes 24 hours for things to settle. It’s no big deal. Our bodies do detox the stuff out overnight. But I get the lesson clearly: not worth the pain.
Anyway…David’s thoughts (annotated a little by me):
Even seeing food improves our mood. This is because the anticipation of a feed, fires up the hormones responsible for how we feel. The sight (or smell) of food gives us a squirt of the pleasure hormone, dopamine.
Dopamine focuses our attention, makes us think more clearly and helps us move faster and more effectively. It’s an important signal to our body that we are in for something good and we need to pay attention. And that was probably pretty handy in times gone by (when dinner was on the hoof rather than in the burger box)
Here’s two things about going gluten-free. You have to, at some point, abandon the idea of eating exactly like you used to. It does mean eating less carbs, partly out of necessity (cos you can’t eat the muesli or the toast options on a breakfast menu, for instance). But in the meantime (point two), there are ways…
500 grams gluten-free flour blend (about 4 cups), purchased or homemade (see recipe)
1 1/2 teaspoons kosher salt
15 grams active-dry yeast (about 4 teaspoons)
1/4 cup extra virgin olive oil, more as needed
Cornmeal for dusting
2 garlic cloves, peeled and sliced paper-thin
1/2 cup grape tomatoes, halved lengthwise
1/3 cup roughly chopped olives
250 grams regular or buffalo mozzarella, sliced
1/2 cup grated parmesan cheese
Crushed red chile flakes to taste
Flaky sea salt, optional.
Pour 2 tablespoons boiling-hot water over flaxseed. Whisk quickly until you have a thick paste. Cool.
In a stand mixer fitted with a paddle attachment, combine the flour and salt.
In a separate small bowl, gently stir together the yeast and olive oil with 1/2 cup warm water. Let it rest a few minutes to activate the yeast.
Add the flaxseed to the dry ingredients and mix for 10 seconds. Pour the yeast-oil-water mixture into the dry ingredients. With the mixer on medium, mix for a few moments, until the dough comes together into a soft ball around the paddle and feels soft and pliable. If the dough feels too dry, add a little more warm water in small amounts until the dough feels soft and pliable. Let the dough rise in a warm place for 1 hour.
